Why people have affairs?
Talk about a loaded subject that no one wants to talk about, this is it. Amusing thing, married dating have been going on ever since millennium. Extramarital affairs can be filled with troubles, cause sadness, and other problems. Plus you should wrap your maind around all the other issues, there’s that truth and openness thing, money, age difference, spiritual background, guilt, and on and on. I expect there will be some strong opinions about some of this.
For the intention of this post I shall identify an affair as a long term, maybe months long relationship of a sexual nature between two individuals of whom one or both are married to other persons, date married woman.
Why do men have affairs? There are as many reasons as there are women seeking affairs. I think typically though it is just the human nature, the need for affection, belonging, to be wanted and cared for, the caring for others and wanting to be loved and appreciated. Here are a few reasons I have run across.
Naturally we as human beings are all sexual creatures. Nature has us set up to reproduce, to have sex. Sex is pleasant and fun, and sex makes us get away the world for a small period of time. This euphoria exists for whatever amount of time we are able to keep the adrenalin levels elevated enough. Someone can turn the wish on and off, some are good at controlling it and others are so-so at best. But we all have it, young and old, able bodied and not so able. It is the Human condition. For some of us it is the sex act itself that drives us. For some of us it is the stimulation of the chase. For some of us it is the seduction, for some it is the caring for another individual, for some it is the wish to be appreciatedloved, for some it is the total romance thing. These desires and yearnings can be so strong they prevail over the taboos humanity has erected against extramarital affairs. For many people the yearnings will overcome their doubts and make them risk the fury of not only their relatives, but society as well. So why, what is the means?
Sex Addicts, perhaps some of us are. Sex is extremely pleasant, better then drugs, a natural high. If you are in this group of physically driven sex addicts and can find away to have sex and not hurt your spouse or anyone else? You will need to minimize the threat you are taking. If you have the approach that a good affair is one that is beneficial to all, then good luck.
No love at home, or no romance. I think this is the biggest grouping, huge truly. There are many couples whose marriage is over, apart from they feel happy in the way they live, and upsetting the extended families is not on their list of things they wish to do. You love your other half but there is no romance. Also there are the children to look after. Your funds are so entangled. You need the medical insurance, and so on. There are a lot of reasons to live together besides love and sex.
Physical reasons, there are some people who can not have sex. They have physical circumstances that stop them completing the sex performance, at least not with their othere half. An marital affair sometimes solves the problem while keeping the marriage intact.
Ignoring, sorrowfully this is a frequent cause I fear. One or the other, generally the husband is sexually neglecting his woman for a number of reasons. As a male I truly am thankful to you guys neglecting your ladies and making them obtainable to us men of romance, making them “milf wives” But I still think it is despicable that you are neglectful. Also there is the spouse who is neglectful until the wife or husband has an affair, then they condemn them for doing so, when they where the catalyst. Those who neglect, then condemn, are not just neglectful, but malevolent.
Something is just omitted in the marriage, I can not put my finger on it, but its not there. Probably its romance that is missing, maybe it is a shortage of love, could be compassion is gone, maybe it is the intimacy, maybe neglect. Maybe we have simply grown apart, our common concerns diverged. Could be it is that what I want, and what I want to do the rest of my ages, is opposed to of what you want. Maybe I just don’t know what I want from the marriage anymore. Maybe, just maybe I miss that emotion that when I am with you, it just feels right.
The major reason people give is, they look for the excitement that is missing and so very much longed for.
There are other reasons, the feeling of power, to get away, for financial gain, for retribution and so on. I am sure there are more reasons why people have affairs then these. I only stop because if this gets too long no one will read it.